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Saturday, 14 November 2015

Live blogging Life and Death: Chapter Nine

Can I write this before my takeaway arrives? We shall see!

Chapter Nine: Theory

I have a theory, it must be bunnies...

'"How old are you?" "Seventeen." ... "How long have you been seventeen?" "A while." ' I am having such a sense of de ja vu right now. Oh my goodness. I also caught myself with a cheesy grin on my face, and had to get up to do something because I was creeped out by the fact I felt like I was 18 again, reading Twilight and giggling to myself about the awkward car conversation. I keep giggling now, because BeauBella keeps stroking LadyEd's hand and thinking about how soft her skin is. Trolololol I need a slap.

'I held her gaze, my eyes getting trapped in her golden stare.' I don't know if I'm just really hungry, but this made me experience de ja vu again. Oh god I was so obsessed with Edward Cullen.

Aw bless, BeauBella just went in for a kiss and got totally rejected. :( Total second hand fictional character embarrassment happening here.


Oh my god if this joy of food is the same as the joy vampires feel drinking human bood...I would definitely be a bad guy. This black bean beef is SO good.

This chapter is over surprisingly quickly. Perhaps because so much is similar to Twilight? They have changed one thing - the final paragraph. No more is it the paragraph that is normally the Twilight blurb. About irreversibly falling in love. It is still about love, but a new version:

'There were only a few things I knew for sure. Fore one, Edythe was an actual vampire. For another, there was a part of her that saw me as food. But in the end, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that I loved her, more than I'd ever imagined it was possible to love anything. She was everything I  wanted, the only thing I would ever want.'

I remember the first time I read Twilight (and probably the times afterwards too) thinking this was WAY too quickly to fall in love. I've always loved romance in books, but I'm a bit of a cynic. I wish I believed in love at first sight, but I don't. These days, I don't know if I even believe in true love :P At eighteen, I definitely thought that love took time and that what Bella was feeling was just a hormone cocktail. I still agree :P

Life and Death Liveblogging: Chapter Seven and Eight


'I  plugged them [headphones] into my little CD player.' God Stephenie, no one uses CD players anymore!

'They were a little heavy for me' I love that this is Linkin Park he is talking about.

'I listened to the CD again...until, finally , I fell asleep.' As someone who needs silence to sleep, this impressed me.

'I was sitting in my room researching vampires. What was wrong with me?' Don't worry, BeauBella, we've all been there...I used to spend hours on the Twilight Lexicon website. I am definitely cringing at the memory of that.

'It didn't take too much effort to concentrate on my task for the day, a paper on Macbeth that was due on Wednesday.' This is why you're an odd character, BeauBella. Not because you are a bit of an outside, are clumsy or like classic literature. Because, on a weekend, you find this an easy task to concentrate on.

Apparently that was all for Chapter Seven...

Chapter Eight: Port Angeles

'The sales woman made it sound like all the details would be important to the girls'. They're talking about the flowers the guys give the girls at dances. Listen guys, if it's alive, the girls will like it. We don't follow the Victorian flower language anymore.

I'm at the part where Bella gets rescued from her would-be attackers. I'm not sure how this'll work with BeauBella, but I'm fairly certain one of the 'attackers' just implied he was a cop? I'm not sure how a seventeen year old could be mistaken for a cop, but then again the US police system sounds  a little dodgy so who knows. (By the way, I am in no way implying all American cops are dodge, it's just many reports recently haven't given them a good reputation).

'Hey, pig' a woman's voice called from behind me.' Is 'pig' a widespread insult for cops then? For some reason I thought it was a British one.

OH OK! The people he's walked past  are the people he knocked with his bag at the airport, when he was getting into Charlie's cop car! They've remembered him! I knew that random added snippet of information had to mean something.

They have a gun. Of course they do. What the fuck?! Over reaction much, couple who think a gangly seventeen year old is a police officer.

'Get in' a furious voice hissed.' YES go LadyEd! First time you've appeared in while! Thank goodness you are spending your free time stalking BeauBella.

'Keep your head down.' She ordered, and I heard the drivers door open.' OMG LadyEd is actually about to get out of the car and lose some shit on these people. I wish this would actually happen!

LadyEd looks 'super super pissed.' So would I if someone was about to steal my chicken nuggets.

'No.' My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat quickly.' I feel like in this situation fear should have made BeauBella's voice squeaky and high pitched.

'Her skin was so smooth.' Why are you noticing this before you notice the temperature?! Are you really used to hairy skin?!

'Unwillingly, I pulled my hand from hers. It felt like I'd been holding a bag of ice cubes.' Ok is this was what touching Edward felt like to Bella...?!?! It was never described as that cold (I don't think?) And Bella was pretty obsessed with having sex with Ed. Surely that would be like having sex with an ice lolly? Does BeauBella really want to get frostbite there?! Jesus these are not questions I asked myself when I was 18.

'It was strange how her silky voice sounded so...menacing.' I'm really noticing that SMeyer uses a lot of ellipses.

'The hell?' I agree, Jeremy.

AHA rather than give BeauBella her coat, LadyEd gives him her scarf?! I really hope its a flowery one.
Damn, it's not. It's Archie's.

They're in the restaurant. They're asking and answering questions. There is no point quoting, because it's so similar to the original. But LadyEd's answers seem a lot simpler and less cryptic than Edward's.

~I just ordered takeaway to get me through this~

'Try not to get caught up in antiquated gender roles.' You tell him LadyEd (BeauBella tried to pay for the food he had eaten...although he was the only one who ate, LadyEd is an immortal creature with a good sum of money. Jealous).

Oh and the chapter is over! I've only just ordered my takeaway! I might post another chapter if I can finish it before food :)

Life and Death Liveblogging: Chapter Six

Long time no see. I've been very busy/ tired and lazy from being busy, so this has been a bit delayed. But! I am here now!

Chapter Six - Scary Stories

If I remember rightly, this is the scene where Bella met Jacob, so I guess we're meeting Jacobina today! Except I bet her name is even worse than that because this gender bent universe is made up of parents who have no taste or consideration of their children becoming adults who have to live with their names,

'McKayla was animated again, putting a lot more faith in the weatherman than I thought he deserved.'  - I cant remember this tiny, insignificant fact but please tell me the weatherman was a woman in Twilight. EVERYTHING (except Charlie) must be gender bent.

I keep getting really confused about all these switched characters though. Just for clarification:
McKayla = Mike
Jeremy = Jessica
Logan = Lauren

'He [Logan] ran his hands through his slicked back, silver-blond hair.' - Ok who bought Draco?

 'He said my name with a sneer' I cant say I blame him, your name is ridiculous.

I can't type it all out, but I love the description of First Beach, and it's pretty accurate, too...

Look at the size of that tree!!!

'most of the guys wanted to head to the one shop in the village for food.'-  because boys always want more food. Girls never.

JULIE! Jacob is Julie! She avoided a horrific name!

'She looked fourteen, maybe fifteen.' I am cringing at how young she is. How young Jacob was. Oh god how young they all were. Why would anyone want to be an immortal 17 year old ooooooh jeeeeeez I am OLD.

'...long glossy black hair pulled back with a rubber band.' It wont stay glossy for long if you keep using rubber bands. GOD YOU ARE SUCH A CHILD.

'Her husky voiced dropped a little lower.' In my head, she's now growling.
'"Do you like scary storied Beau?"' Good, let me tell you one about a sparkling family of tormented teenagers.

Sadly, there isn't much to report from chapter 6. But that means I am going straight on to Chapter 7 :)

Sunday, 1 November 2015

October Wrap Up and November TBR

October Wrap Up

Oh dear. I have to confess, October was a bad reading month for me. Despite the fact I had half term, the number of books I read was abyssmal. In fact, I only completed one first time read. I tried to read a couple more, but just couldn't manage it.

The one book I completed was ...

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

I really enjoyed this read, and gave it 4/5 stars. I liked the plot, and the mysterious alternate London setting. As I mentioned before (I think in my vlog), lots of people have said that they find the main character boring. I think that is partly the point? He is a guy who is living a dull, pointless life until he gets exposed to this world, and that is when he begins to become more interesting. I especially enjoyed the different settings in London that were mentioned and described.

I tried to read..

The Resurrectionist by James Bradley

I couldn't do this. I found it exceptionally dull, and the scenes/events didn't fit well together. I learnt next to nothing about any of the characters, and gave up. As I was definitely 2/3 of the way through when I quit, I am counting this as my 'book with bad reviews' for my reading challenge. The fact I quit shows that I agree!

I am slowly getting through...

Life and Death by Stephenie Meyer

And I am liveblogging the experience here on this blog! I've just posted chapter five. I used to be a huge Twilight fan (also mentioned in another blog post) so rereading it in this form is hilarious. It's taking me a while because typing up my comments, although funny for me to do, is rather time consuming.

November TBR

After failing at reading so many books in October, my TBR pile is looking huge. And they are all on this TBR pile up to help me complete the reading challenge! Help!

These are the books that I am hoping to get through, with the most likely at the top, all the way down to the least likely...

Salem's Lot  (a book that scares me)
The Wrath and the Dawn (a book with a love triangle)
Burial Rites (a book based on a true story)
The Handmaids Tale (a book my mother loves)
To Kill A Mockingbird (a popular authors first book)
All the Light we Cannot See (a Pullitzer prize winner)
Little Women (a book that became a movie)
North and South (a book with antonyms in the title)
The Pillars of the Earth (a book published in the year I was born)

This is definitely more than I had planned, and in all honesty I cannot see it happening. My aim, realistically, is 3 books. However, the more I put off, the more on my 2015 reading challenge I have to make in December!

If you have any recommendations for books that could help me meet my 2015 challenge, please comment below!

Clair's 2015 Reading Challenge:
  • A book you read in a day - Dreamfever/ Shadowfever by Karen Marie Moning (3rd January 2015)
  • An Author with my initials - The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare, Maureen Johnson and Sarah Rees Brennan (9th January 2015)
  • A book written by someone under 30 - The Mime Order by Samantha Shannon (21st February 2015)
  • A book with a colour in the title - The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory (18th February 2015)
  • A book that takes place in your hometown - The Darkest London series by Kristen Callihan (February 2015)
  • A book set in a different country - Delilah by Eleanor Jong (15th February 2015)
  • A book with nonhuman characters - Burned by Karen Marie Moning (February 2015)
  • A book with a female author - A Crown of Midnight by Sarah J Maas (10th February 2015)
  • A book published this year - Dead Heat by Patricia Briggs (2nd March 2015)
  • A book set in high school (well, they're all high school age and some parts mention their school - that counts right) - The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater (2nd March)
  • A book with more than 500 pages - Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon (10th March 2015)
  • A book a friend recommended - Heir of Fire by Sarah J Maas (12th March)
  • A book by an author you've never read before - The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson (17th March)
  • A book with a one word title - Doon by Carey Corp and Lorie Langdon (30th March)
  • A book with a number in the title - Eight Grave After Dark by Darynda Jones (31st May)
  • A book with magic in it - The Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews (May 2015)
  • A funny book - The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion (15th August)
  • A book of short stories - Teeth by various authors (June)
  • A nonfiction book - The Time Travellers Guide to Medieval England by Ian Mortimer (July 2015)
  • A book from an author you love but haven't read yet - Masques by Patricia Briggs (June 2015)
  • A book at the bottom of your to read list - Mistwood by Leah Cyprus (7th June 2015)
  • A book based entirely on the front cover - The Paper Magician by Charlie N Holmberg (August 2015)
  • A memoir - The Crossing by James Cracknell and Ben Fogle (August 2015)
  • A trilogy - Penryn and the End of Days trilogy by Susan Ee (August 2015)
  • A book set in the future - The Girl With All the Gifts by MR Carey (April 2015)
  • A mystery or thriller - Inferno by Dan Brown (August 2015)
  • A graphic novel - Mercy Thompson: Homecoming by Patricia Briggs, artwork by  Francis Tsai,  David Lawrence and Amelia Woo (September 2015)
  • A book more than 100 years old - Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (September 2015)
  • A book from your childhood - The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (I figure this is the only book you can really be allowed to reread, and as I am reading it to my class, the 20 of them that have never read it make up for it)
  • A book that made me cry - The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (September 2015)
  • A book I started but never finished - 666 Park Avenue by Gabriella Pierce (September 2015)
  • A book with bad reviews - The Resurrectionist by James Bradley (October 2015)

~to be added to as time passes~

Life a Death Live Blogging: Chapter Five

Evening! (Or morning, or afternoon)

So I got a little carried away in the bath last night and read 3 chapters of Life and Death. Help, what if this is a spiral into the Twilight universe that I have to escape a second time? I was too tired (and warm) to be productive and write about any of the chapters, so I'll write up Chapter Five now!

Chapter Five - Blood Type

'Yesyesyesyes! I want to see LadyEd carry BeauBella!! I cannot wait to read this'- a quote taken directly from my brain last night.

'Patches of red formed on my face as I hurried to my seat.' That doesn't sound healthy.

'It wasn't until class was over that I noticed that McKayla wasn't sitting next to me like she usually did'. I'm sorry BeauBella, but this may be why you had no friends in Phoenix. How can you not notice someone isn't sat next to you for an entire lesson, even if you don't care too much about them?

'Would she ignore me like usual?' I don't think you can be too offended if she does, seeing as you just forgot about the existence of a perfectly normal human being for a whole lesson.

'I think I grunted in the right places' - I'm imagining an acapella group made up entirely of grunting teenage boys.

'Disappointment hit like a punch in the gut. There were only four people there' - you know, it must be so freaking annoying to be Jasper (or Jessamine) when this kind of thing happens. Not only are you holding yourself back from massacring the entire year group (tell me again why the Cullens risk every human life in the school so that they can blend in?), but, probably on a regular basis, random teenagers suddenly explode with emotion. Whether it's linked to you or not, if you are Jasper, you can feel it all. God damn. Or perhaps he enjoys himself by making experiences like this feel like a literal punch in the gut? How hilarious would it be to hear a kid say 'I'm so scared I'm going to piss myself'...and then have the power to actually make that happen. Mwahaha.

Don't worry BeauBella, LadyEd is there after all.

'Her dimples flashed as soon as she knew I'd seen her.' Ok, I get that dimples are cute but how do they flash? Also, not making her seem like a dangerous monster right now.

'She raised one hand and motioned with her index finger for me to join her.' Aha, I pretended to do this in the bath last night. I know it means that she beckoned, but in my head (and re-enactment) it looks stupid.

'As I stared, she winked.' I'm sorry but the image of this scary girl (with dimples) with her arm in the air, using once finger to beckon and then also winking, makes me laugh. I don't know why.

'"Does she mean you?" Jeremy asked.' I know right, Jeremy. There is nothing interesting about BeauBella. Apart from the fact he smells like a good meal and his boring thoughts are quieter than other peoples. THAT IS LITERALLY THE BASIS OF THE ATTRACTION.

'"Your friends are upset that I've stolen you." Suddenly I could feel all their eyes boring into my back.' That sounds incredibly painful :/

'"I always say too much when I'm talking to you, that's one of the problems."' LadyEd, you have said barely anything to him all book. I know it feels like you've been there a lot, because BeauBella is a little obsessed, but the majority of the time has been spent in his head, where he has been judging every person he has ever met - including you.

'Funny how my stomach was rolling. Was it because I was hungry after all?' Well you've only had a lemonade all day, I'm going to guess the answer is yes. Or maybe your instincts are telling you to RUN AWAY from the weird girl who doesn't eat, says she's dangerous and avoids sunlight.

'"I'm wondering what you are"'. I know we all know what she is, but if you suspected someone in your life was not a human, would you tell them that?! You aren't friends, you're a bit scared of them and you already for certain know that they are very strong. She's already told you she'd dangerous! This does not seem like the logical thing to say, is all I'm trying to express here.

'My neck got hot, and I assumed - unattractively blotchy.' So basically all your blood has rushed to the surface of your skin. This is like waving a bacon sandwich in front of a hungover Clair, and attaching a big flashing sign to it. I feel really sorry for LadyEd - perhaps she should just have bitten him here and ended the book?

'Her lips pouting out in a distracting way' all I can see reading some of the descriptions of LadyEd's facial movements is Robert Pattinson pulling ridiculous faces of disgust.

'"No, I'm not hungry." She smiled as if I was missing some inside joke.' SHE WANTS TO EAT YOU.

I like that in this book, when BeauBella starts to guess, LadyEd genuinely seems concerned he might get it right. But lets be honest, why the hell would someone think there was an actual vampire in the school? Such a ridiculous use of immortality.

'The incongruity of the word dangerous applied to her slim and perfect body.' One, she is wearing a lot of clothes, she may not be 'perfect'. Two, please don't put perfect and slim in the same sentence it freaks my sensitive ego out.

This is a really long chapter. I thought the blood typing and the lunch were separate. AAH.

So yeah, the coming scene was one of my favourite in the original book. I can't wait to see how it plays out here...

The teacher totally stabs McKayla with the prongs, making her bleed with completely zero consent gained.

One issue that instantly arises from BeauBella feeling faint, is that McKayla has to help him out of class. In Twilight, Mike had Bella leaning against him, and I bet that made him feel v manly and strong. Mckayla is obviously shorter than the tall (as we have been told many times) BeauBella, so it doesn't work as well.

'Please let me not vomit on her'.  AHAHA can you imagine?! I threw up on a work colleague's arm when he was taking an extremely drunken me home safely. The poor guy. Luckily, I cannot remember it.

'"I have a weak vasovagal system" I muttered. "It's just a neurally mediated syncope."' Says the boy who has obviously had to explain his none-manly phobia of blood for a while. Also, I have a slight medical training background and I do not know what the last three words mean.

'I wished I felt more normal so I can could appreciate that more - her body touching mine. I knew that under normal circumstances I would be enjoying this.' I bet you would,

'"Oh my" a male voice gasped.' Teeheehee

LadyEd stands a little away from BeauBella when he's in the medical room. 'Her eyes were bright, excited.' She wants to eat you!!!!!!!!

'"People can't smell blood" Edythe contradicted.' There are many people who would like to disagree with you about this. So many people.

'"It warms my cold heart to see you learning so quickly."' In which LadyEd is all of us.

'The smooth roll of her hips was just as hypnotic as her eyes.' I WISH THIS HAD BEEN USED TO DESCRIBE EDWARDS WALK OH MY GOD. Strut, Edward!

CARINE AND ERNEST. I can't remember if their names have already been mentioned (or even if I have already mentioned their names in this post - I wrote half of it 2 week ago) but CARINE AND ERNEST are Carlisle and Esme...

And this ends this chapter. Not quite as dramatic as I was hoping. I wanted LadyEd to sweep BeauBella off his feet,  but oh well!